Being thankful for what I have...

I had something happen last night that I can't get out of my mind, so I just have to write about it. I was driving home from the gym and I was turning a corner at a busy intersection. There was a homeless man standing on the corner holding a sign. I couldn't read the whole sign but the part I did see was "I am hungry." He had a Santa hat on and he was an older man. To be perfectly honest with you, I usually try not to look at the person, I try not to think about it and I drive on by. It always makes me sad when I see a homeless person, but you hear so many stories that all they want is money to buy alcohol or cigarettes and it starts to make you cold to the whole situation.

Well, I looked this man in his eyes and he looked right back at me. I can't explain it but when his eyes caught mine, this wave of sadness came over me and as I turned the corner, tears started rolling down my cheeks. I have no idea why I got so overwhelmed and sad, but there was something in his look that just hit me. It wasn't a look like he was mad I was driving on by. His eyes showed sadness, despair and kindness all at the same time. I don't know how, but those are the things I thought of when we caught each other's stare. I had a feeling that he was a very kind and compassionate man that was really down on his luck. Now, I could be totally wrong in what I felt, but I choose to think I felt those things for a reason.

After turning the corner and passing him, there was a McDonald's a couple blocks ahead, so without hesitation, I drove through the drive thru, wiped my cheeks of the tears, and ordered one of the biggest burgers they have, large fries and a bottle of water. The corner he was standing on is a busy one, so I had to turn and drive down the street a while and turn around so that I could drive right by him again. There weren't any cars behind me so it was a perfect time. I rolled down the passenger window and turned my inside light on so that he could see me and be comfortable that I was a nice person. He came to my window and as I was handing him the McDonald's bag and the bottle of water, I told him, "I don't have any cash, but I did go get you some food." He said, "Thank you so much, this will be perfect. God Bless You." And as the tears started coming again, I said, "You have a good night." And he said, "God Bless You." I turned the corner for the 2nd time that night and I cried all the way home.

I cried because the feeling after handing him that food was something I'd never felt before. I felt like the Grinch when his heart grew 3 sizes in the movie. I was happy because he had appreciated the food. I was sad because I didn't know where he was going to sleep that night. I was sad because I didn't know where he would get his food the next day or the next day. I was sad because I take things for granted every day. I was thankful that I've never once in my life had to worry about where my meal was going to come from or if I would even have food. I was sad for the many people every day who don't know where their next meal is coming from or if they will even have one. I was thankful for my wonderful husband who knew just by hearing my voice when I walked in the door that something was wrong. I was thankful for him when he asked me if something was wrong and I said, "No," he still came up from the basement to make sure. And I'm thankful that when he saw I'd been crying, he just hugged me and let me cry some more as I was telling him the story.

I was taught an important lesson last night for a reason. I almost didn't go by that corner. I almost went the other way home, but something told me to take the longer way home and I did. So many of us take so many things for granted and I'm no different. I take it for granted that I will have food whenever I need it (or want it), that I have a home and heat to keep me warm, and that I have many wonderful people who care about me and would do anything for me. Especially during this holiday season, when the weather is colder, let's remember all the many blessings in our lives and try to pay it forward whenever we can. I'm not writing this post to share how much of a good person I am for buying that man's dinner (quite frankly, it made me sad that buying his dinner was all I could do for him last night). I'm writing it to remind all of us of the many people who are less fortunate than we are. Even though the price of his dinner was hardly anything to me, he probably appreciated it more than I will ever know. And it made me feel really good for doing something for someone else, even though I wished I could have done SO much more for him.

I hope my experience makes you thankful for what you have and makes you realize how lucky you are. And know that even small gestures of kindness, something you might not think is a big deal at all, can truly make someone else's day or life better. Random acts of kindness and paying it forward will not only help someone else, but it'll make you feel good as well.